{"id":10255,"date":"2022-03-01T06:43:13","date_gmt":"2022-03-01T05:43:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/?p=10255"},"modified":"2022-03-01T06:43:19","modified_gmt":"2022-03-01T05:43:19","slug":"vyroky-deti-kam-se-hrabou-vtipy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/?p=10255","title":{"rendered":"V\u00fdroky d\u011bt\u00ed- kam se hrabou vtipy!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>1.. Stra\u0161n\u011b jsem se lekl, kdy\u017e maminka onemocn\u011bla, proto\u017ee jsem si myslel, \u017ee n\u00e1m bude va\u0159it tat\u00ednek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2..&nbsp; Na maminky se nem\u00e1 k\u0159i\u010det, proto\u017ee jsou prosp\u011b\u0161n\u00e9.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;3..&nbsp; Kdy\u017e se dva lidi do sebe zamiluj\u00ed a poprv\u00e9 se pol\u00edb\u00ed, hned se zhrout\u00ed a nevstanou aspo\u0148 hodinu, ale mo\u017en\u00e1 i d\u00fdl.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;4..&nbsp; Sestra zase m\u011bla na vysv\u011bd\u010den\u00ed sam\u00e9 jedni\u010dky. Vsad\u00edm se, \u017ee mi to d\u011bl\u00e1 naschv\u00e1l.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<strong>5<\/strong><strong>.. Babi\u010dka je tlust\u00e1, proto\u017ee je pln\u00e1 l\u00e1sky.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;6.. Stra\u0161n\u011b bych si p\u0159\u00e1la je\u0161t\u011b brat\u0159\u00ed\u010dka,&nbsp;ale&nbsp;m\u00e1ma st\u00e1le pou\u017e\u00edv\u00e1 tamp\u00f3n&#8230;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;7.&nbsp; \u010c\u00edm je \u010dlov\u011bk star\u0161\u00ed, t\u00edm jsou jeho zuby dra\u017e\u0161\u00ed.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<strong>8.. Holky neum\u00ed \u010d\u016frat ve stoje, proto\u017ee nev\u011bd\u00ed co si maj\u00ed dr\u017eet.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;9..&nbsp; Kdy\u017e babi\u010dku bolej zuby, d\u00e1 je do&nbsp;skleni\u010dky.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;10. J\u00e1 u\u017e nem\u00e1m babi\u010dku: zasadili jsme ji na h\u0159bitov\u011b.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;11. A&nbsp;maminky se musej\u00ed p\u00e1st, aby jim z prsou teklo ml\u00e9ko?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;12. \u0160v\u00fdcarsk\u00e9 kr\u00e1vy vyu\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed v prvn\u00ed \u0159ad\u011b na v\u00fdrobu \u010dokol\u00e1dy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;13. Obyvatel\u00e9 Sardinie se naz\u00fdvaj\u00ed sardinky.<strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<strong>14. Aby to bylo dobr\u00e9, sest\u0159i\u010dky v nemocnici musej\u00ed b\u00fdt steriln\u00ed.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;15. L\u00e9ka\u0159i \u0159\u00edkaj\u00ed, \u017ee nejhor\u0161\u00ed jsou smrteln\u00e9 choroby.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;16. Kdy\u017e se mi narodil brat\u0159\u00ed\u010dek, dali ho do akumul\u00e1toru.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;17. Neju\u017eite\u010dn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed zv\u00ed\u0159e je prase. Ka\u017edou jeho \u010d\u00e1st m\u016f\u017eeme zu\u017eitkovat:&nbsp; p\u0159edn\u00ed a zadn\u00ed \u010d\u00e1st jako maso, k\u016f\u017ei na boty, ze srsti kart\u00e1\u010dky a jeho jm\u00e9nem m\u016f\u017eeme dokonce i nad\u00e1vat.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;18. Nejsem pok\u0159t\u011bn\u00fd, ale o\u010dkovan\u00fd jsem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;19. Nev\u00edm kolik je mi rok\u016f, proto\u017ee se to st\u00e1le m\u011bn\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>20. V mamin\u010din\u011b b\u0159\u00ed\u0161ku je miminko, jenom nev\u00edm, jak ho spolkla.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>21. Akv\u00e1rium je vlastn\u011b mal\u00e9 mo\u0159e, ve kter\u00e9m plavou dom\u00e1c\u00ed rybi\u010dky&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;22. V\u00fd\u017eivn\u00e9 je plat d\u011bt\u00ed, kdy\u017e se otec odst\u011bhuje z domu.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;23.Ka\u017ed\u00e1 ryba vyr\u00e1b\u00ed jikry, rusk\u00e9 ryby i kavi\u00e1r.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;24.Kr\u00e1vy nemohou rychle b\u011bhat, aby jim z vemena nest\u0159\u00edkalo ml\u00e9ko.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;<strong>25.Mu\u017ei u n\u00e1s se m\u016f\u017eou o\u017eenit jen s jednou \u017eenou. Tomu se \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 monot\u00f3nn\u00ed.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;26.Nech\u00e1pu, pro\u010d se mamka hn\u011bv\u00e1, \u017ee jsem rozbil v\u00e1zu. Stejn\u011b byla star\u00e1&nbsp; a dokonce \u010d\u00ednsk\u00e1, kdyby byla aspo\u0148 na\u0161e.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;27.Poloostrov je takov\u00fd ostrov, kter\u00fd \u00fapln\u011b nedokon\u010dili.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;28.Babi\u010dka se odst\u011bhovala na druh\u00fd sv\u011bt. Tak\u017ee u\u017e i j\u00e1 budu m\u00edt n\u011bkoho v cizin\u011b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1.. Stra\u0161n\u011b jsem se lekl, kdy\u017e maminka onemocn\u011bla, proto\u017ee jsem si myslel, \u017ee n\u00e1m bude va\u0159it tat\u00ednek. 2..&nbsp; Na maminky se nem\u00e1 k\u0159i\u010det, proto\u017ee jsou prosp\u011b\u0161n\u00e9.&nbsp; &nbsp;3..&nbsp; Kdy\u017e se dva lidi do sebe zamiluj\u00ed a poprv\u00e9 se pol\u00edb\u00ed, hned se zhrout\u00ed a nevstanou aspo\u0148 hodinu, ale mo\u017en\u00e1 i d\u00fdl.&nbsp; &nbsp;4..&nbsp; Sestra zase m\u011bla na vysv\u011bd\u010den\u00ed &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/?p=10255\" class=\"more-link\">Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">V\u00fdroky d\u011bt\u00ed- kam se hrabou vtipy!<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10255"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10255\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10256,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10255\/revisions\/10256"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}