{"id":13172,"date":"2022-11-04T18:26:32","date_gmt":"2022-11-04T17:26:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/?p=13172"},"modified":"2022-11-04T18:26:40","modified_gmt":"2022-11-04T17:26:40","slug":"humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/?p=13172","title":{"rendered":"HUMOR!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Humor u\u017e v minulosti p\u0159e\u017eil jin\u00e9 totalitn\u00ed re\u017eimy Rakousk\u00fd humor : Rozd\u00edl mezi rokem 1942 a 2022 je, \u017ee N\u011bmci nemus\u00ed a\u017e do<br>Stalingradu, aby zmrzli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>V\u00fdchodoevropsk\u00fd humor : Je lep\u0161\u00ed, kdy\u017e Rusov\u00e9 zav\u0159ou plyn, ne\u017e kdy\u017e ho<br>N\u011bmci pust\u00ed\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u010cesk\u00fd humor : Man\u017eel p\u0159inese man\u017eelce do kuchyn\u011b zaj\u00edce kter\u00e9ho chytil venku<br>a mlsn\u011b se olizuje: \u201eUd\u011blej ho na smetan\u011b!\u201c<br>Man\u017eelka : \u201eNejde plyn.\u201c On : \u201eTak ho upe\u010d!\u201c Ona : \u201eNejde ani<br>elekt\u0159ina.\u201c Man\u017eel se na\u0161tve a mrskne u\u0161\u00e1ka zp\u011bt za plot.<br>Ten se oklepe a za\u0159ve: \u201eSl\u00e1va Ukrajin\u011b!\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Slovensk\u00fd humor : De\u017eo se v zime zobud\u00ed a v byte je pekne teplo. Chyt\u00ed<br>radi\u00e1tor \u2013 je hor\u00faci. Pust\u00ed vodu \u2013 te\u010die aj tepl\u00e1. Pust\u00ed plyn \u2013 plyn ide.<br>Rozru\u0161en\u00fd De\u017eo kri\u010d\u00ed: \u201eAranka, vst\u00e1vaj! Komunisti sa vr\u00e1tili!\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>P\u0159ed t\u0159iceti lety jsme se ptali, jak dohnat \u017eivotn\u00ed \u00farove\u0148 z\u00e1padu, a dneska se pt\u00e1me, jak se vr\u00e1tit k \u017eivotn\u00ed \u00farovni p\u0159ed t\u0159iceti lety. Nerozum\u00edm, pro\u010d n\u00e1m p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 prod\u00e1vaj\u00ed plyn a ropu dr\u00e1\u017e ne\u017e nep\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9. Podle faktury na elekt\u0159inu m\u00e1m doma urychlova\u010d \u010d\u00e1stic, podle faktury za plyn bydl\u00edm na Alja\u0161ce, podle faktury za vodu m\u00e1m koupali\u0161t\u011b a podle platu pob\u00edr\u00e1m podporu v nezam\u011bstnanosti. Ceny mouky a strouhanky se vy\u0161plhaly tak vysoko, \u017ee v\u00fdrobci p\u0159em\u00fd\u0161l\u00ed, \u017ee by do p\u00e1rk\u016f op\u011bt d\u00e1vali maso. Loni touto dobou n\u00e1m nakazovali sprchovat se po ka\u017ed\u00e9 cest\u011b ven, dnes n\u00e1m sprchov\u00e1n\u00ed zakazuj\u00ed. P\u0159ed rokem jsem se m\u011b\u0159ila, zda nem\u00e1m moc vysokou teplotu t\u011bla, dnes m\u011b\u0159\u00edm, zda nem\u00e1m moc vysokou teplotu v pokoji. Loni jsem bez rou\u0161ky nemohla zazvonit u soused\u016f a dnes se m\u00e1m se sousedkou koupat v jedn\u00e9 koupeln\u011b a p\u00e9ct ku\u0159e v jedn\u00e9 troub\u011b. Podle rady p\u0159edsedkyn\u011b parlamentu jsem nam\u00edsto plynu zkou\u0161ela va\u0159it na svetrech, ale ne\u0161lo to. Co m\u00e1m d\u011blat? Odpov\u011b\u010f: \u201eProd\u00e1vej vejce p\u0159es Lipskou burzu. Cena pro kone\u010dn\u00e9 spot\u0159ebitele 30 \u2013 35 K\u010d za kus. Pokud by cena ne\u00fam\u011brn\u011b stoupla, zastropuj ji v z\u00e1jmu svobodn\u00e9ho a demokratick\u00e9ho trhu na 120 korun\u00e1ch za vejce. Spolu to sneseme!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Humor u\u017e v minulosti p\u0159e\u017eil jin\u00e9 totalitn\u00ed re\u017eimy Rakousk\u00fd humor : Rozd\u00edl mezi rokem 1942 a 2022 je, \u017ee N\u011bmci nemus\u00ed a\u017e doStalingradu, aby zmrzli. V\u00fdchodoevropsk\u00fd humor : Je lep\u0161\u00ed, kdy\u017e Rusov\u00e9 zav\u0159ou plyn, ne\u017e kdy\u017e hoN\u011bmci pust\u00ed\u2026 \u010cesk\u00fd humor : Man\u017eel p\u0159inese man\u017eelce do kuchyn\u011b zaj\u00edce kter\u00e9ho chytil venkua mlsn\u011b se olizuje: \u201eUd\u011blej ho &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/?p=13172\" class=\"more-link\">Pokra\u010dov\u00e1n\u00ed textu <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">HUMOR!!!<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-zaliby"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13172"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13172\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13173,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13172\/revisions\/13173"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.podivinsky.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}